The Evolution of My Healing.
“She’s listening to this: this transformation in herself. Which is still new, mobile, momentary.
She doesn’t know who, shortly, she’ll be.”
— Hélène Cixous
To say that acupuncture has been on my mind—is an understatement.
For the last few years I’ve scrawled “acupuncture” in my New Years resolution diary, a reminder that one hopeful day I would be able to sustain a practice that felt less like work and more like what it should be: an investment in myself. It has always been a quiet negotiation, however. I travel a lot, and it’s been hard to find something that feels sustainable. On top of that, when I’m not feeling good, whether emotionally or financially, self care is the first thing that dips out of my system. I can feel it leaving, all the good work, like a ghost running through my body, evaporating with the wind.
So, when the opportunity arose for me to come to Garden Acupuncture, the quaint little clinic, sidled next to the echelons of the Park Slope Food Co-op, I jumped on it. Here, I’ve been working with Lisa, a practitioner who never once questioned my need to “heal my traumas,” instead offering me the solace that I needed, asking me about my qualms head on, facing the demons with me.
In the last few weeks, I’ve become more observant of my bodies patterns—why my legs hurt all the time, or why I feel a specific tightness in my thighs.
Currently I’m taking a blend of herbs—Shen Ling Bai Zhu San and Calm ES—both of which are to help my spleen and liver heal from stagnation, which I’ve been told is a common problem among many of us. For that, I’ve also started getting GuaSha which again helps alleviate the tension in my body (specifically my legs) and helps remove the blocks so that the chi may move through me, eventually allowing me to come to my full happy human state. Goals!
My interest in acupuncture did pique around the same time that I realized I needed self-care.
I needed it for many reasons, but primarily I needed it for survival. I started to get more and more interested in Chinese medicine in general, and slowly started to open to the worlds of this ancient practice. However, I felt that I needed a deep well of healing, and I also knew that things would not settle inside of me—the sort of merciless calling that existed throughout my body, like a chant—would not disappear until I faced myself head on. My insides, my soul, were asking to be saved, and I couldn’t pretend that they weren’t anymore. So instead of thrusting myself head on, I stunted myself, and stopped looking after myself. Why? Well, because it was easier.
I come from a lineage that is saddled in pain.
My parents survived a civil war in the 70’s in Bangladesh, where three million of their people were murdered. On top of that, 400,000 women were raped in a genocidal war tactic. This happened in 1971, yet so many of us don’t know about it. We’ve hardly heard about the stories, let alone the statistics, and yet—this happened, a mere few decades ago. When I found out, I started to realize how much pain my body must carry, and I began to see that my pursuit of wellness was far greater than me. It was something that I needed to do not only heal my present traumas in this current lifetime, but as well as mother’s, my father’s, and as well as my ancestors’.
Ever since I was a child, there have been things that are inexplicable to me. Why I know certain things, or why I navigate certain parameters with such strange maturity. I’ve always been told I was older than I was, and I felt like I came into this world an adult in many ways. They say that epigenetics is “the study of changes in organisms caused by modification of gene expression,” which usually stems from familial trauma. That’s potentially why many of us carry things that are larger than ourselves, we carry our families pasts, too. Which is why it’s increasingly important that we not only acknowledge these issues, but begin to take the appropriate steps to practice letting go of what ails us.
Acupuncture has become a way for me to express and contend with all the things that I hold in my body, and so here, in my monthly column (with Garden Acupuncture’s grace) I will explore my experience and evolution of my healing. I hope you enjoy!
About The Author
This guest post was authored by Fariha Róisín, a talented writer based here in Brooklyn.We are indebted to Fariha for sharing this experience. We are humbled to be in service to such a brave, strong & beautiful human and it is with great gratitude we are able to share Fariha's writings with our community.
Fariha Róisín has written for Al Jazeera, The Guardian, Vice, Fusion, Village Voice and many others and additionally has previously written a self-care column on The Hairpin. Fariha will also soon have two books published and currently has an astrology column for them. We encourage you to discover more:
Visit Fariha's Website.
Follow Fariha on Instagram.
Learn More About Fariha on Passerbuys.
A Note From Garden Acupuncture:
If you would like to be notified about Fariha's future contributions to the Garden Acupuncture Blog on The Evolution of My Healing, we invite you to sign up for our newsletter below or you can follow us on Facebook.